Taming your inner critic

What would you do if there was zero chance of failure? What would you do if there was zero chance of being judged?

Are your answers different to reality?
Do you have an Inner Critic that getting in the way of your freedom and happiness?

Believe me when I say that I had a truly, mean inner critic.  One that drove unhealthy habits and limiting beliefs:

“I’d never be clever enough to have that job “
“I couldn’t ever do what she did”
“I’d never be able to earn that much money.”
“I’d never take those risks.”

For years I had thought about making a change to a calmer and more rewarding way of life. The crazy thing is that this dream remained just that; a dream. More fiction than reality.

“That only happens to people in movies.”  

I believed that in order to be successful I needed to be flying by the seat of my pants.  I needed to fill every waking moment and to project a life that people envied. I wanted people to be jealous of my life and constantly sought approval from them.

Did I succeed? Or was something stopping me, holding me back?

The truth is that my Inner Critic got in the way of my success and limiting my true potential.

My soul was hungry for change, it yearned for something more than the constant pressure and monotony of the daily grind. The pressure was pretty much self-created. I couldn’t see the wood for the trees and wanted to prove to everyone that I was the one who could make everything better, I was the one who could deliver, I was the one who they needed in their life. I craved purpose, wealth, health and prosperity.  But my low confidence and my Inner Critic kept picking away and kept me feeling stuck and frustrated; kept me just where they wanted me!

With a judgmental voice like this in your head, it’s no wonder so many of us procrastinate, self-sabotage or worry about failure or being judged. It’s no wonder so many of us are left scrolling social media with that gut-heavy feeling that we aren’t enough. 
Well, I have fabulous news for you! 

None of that negative commentary is the real you. It’s a made-up voice designed to keep you in your comfort zone, to hinder your true potential.

I’ve made a big change. Since launching my life-coaching business I’ve become an entrepreneur making that dream that was fiction into a reality, working with clients who have felt the same emotions, frustrations, that overwhelming and suffocating pressure and who continued to practice those same, toxic daily habits. We’ve worked together and we have changed their mindset, developed the tools they need to succeed and we have silenced their Inner Critic and used their new found freedom to succeed.  

I realised that I had the answers in me but hadn’t searched hard enough for them.  I found solutions from my previous career in the fitness and wellness industry. I knew people who were totally dialled-in to mindfulness and had who had tips and tools to help navigate the times when I lacked confidence and helped develop methods to deal with the frustration and noise that I was creating in my life.

Some of the exercises and tools that I use are below.  Try them.  They will turn down the volume on the noise, quieten the voices of doubt and eventually silence that Inner Critic.
They work! 

• You are amazing:  Every day for the next 4 weeks, write down 3-5 things that are amazing about you.  Make it part of your day.  It can simply be on a sticky note on your mirror that you look at in the morning when you’re getting ready. It can be a note on your phone or hand-written in a notebook. 

Make it a ritual and push through any resistance.  We can all think of our weaknesses but our strengths are what will drive us forward.

• Gratitude:   Practice this daily.  Focus on the things you have in your life to be grateful for regardless of whether you are failing, stressed or going through a challenge.  Write these down and read them every day out loud or in your head.  When you go to bed at night mentally note all the good things you have said and done throughout your day. When we reflect or repeat the things for which we are thankful then we start to see the good in things, even when they are surrounded by perceived stress and negativity. 

Your brain filters around 70,000 thoughts a day and shows you what it thinks you want to see and ignores what is irrelevant to you.  When you reprogram your mental filter to recognise success and be grateful for those moments then better things start to appear and your life feels a less cluttered and you start to silence your Inner Critic.

• Stop ruminating:   Don’t go over and over something embarrassing that you did, or something bad that happened in your day or something awkward that you may have said. Don’t be tempted to replay the event over and over.  This won’t solve the problem, it’ll only magnify it and make it seem worse. If you recognise that you’re doing this then mark that moment, acknowledge it and then decide to do something different that will place you in a more mindful space; take yourself for a walk, head out and grab a coffee or call a friend. What has happened, has happened. 

You can’t change it, it’s in the past. It’s done.  But what we can do is change how we do things better in the future. The stress and worry that we create in our minds worrying about things that we can’t change wastes both time and emotional energy, energy that can be better used to improve ourselves and enhance how we will do things how we do things moving forward.  

• Make a note of negative thoughts:  Make a note of any negative thoughts that you have over the day. Every time you hear your Inner Critic trying to hold you back and causing that niggling doubt, ask yourself if that is the way you want to think and then let the negativity drift away.  

Do you find when you reflect on the list that there is a consistency, a theme of the same thoughts or feelings? You might find yourself often internalising the words “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do it!”

Change that statement. Say it out loud if you need to but believe it!

“I am good enough and I always do the best I can.”
That Inner Critic can creep in when you least expect it.  Your brain is set to a safe negative mode, encouraging you not to step into uncomfortable situations; to remain unchallenged.

But know this, you are enough and you can have everything you want. 

Take control of that volume button and silence that inner critic once and for all! ☺

Georgie xx